Friday, December 5, 2014

I heArt Fridays....

I have walked by this tree a zillion times, 
but this time was when I noticed the knots created a heart.  
There is always more to discover in our everyday world.

Have a great Friday and a great weekend!

Friday, November 14, 2014

I heArt Fridays... 200th Heart

I have not posted much lately...
I have not really done too much but work in the past year. 
But I am trying to get some balance back. 
I have been painting again and I want to get back blogging on a regular basis again.

I found this sweet little heart on my favorite island... 
it turns out that it is my 200th heart I've shared here.


Sunday, September 21, 2014

Anonymous Commentors - Dam Wife

I have had a few anonymous commenters on some of my posts... many on the "Dam Wife" post. I would love to ask YOU some questions and also answer some of YOUR questions, but I can not if you are anonymous.

If you would like to connect, please email me at: mb at drawntocolor dot com

until then...

to quote a line from a movie I love:




Thursday, August 14, 2014

TBT - A Boy and his Dog

 This throwback is almost from 6 years to the day. 
It is one of my favorites of Dante and Mario together.

Friday, August 8, 2014

TBT - Tears, Fears and a Bone Scan

This photo was taken over 8 years ago. A day after I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  My life, my body and my hair would never really be the same. I think we were really all still in shock, we did not know what was to come. I carry the physical wounds and we all carry the emotional wounds. Every day since my treatment ended in 2007 the cancer experience has faded a bit more each day….

Until last Thursday.

I have been having progressively more pain in my hip bones… mostly my right hip. It comes and goes. Sometimes after I run or dance, I am in extreme pain and I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I also sit a lot at work, my job has required a crazy amount of hours and I think that has made the situation even worse. My oncologist ordered a bone scan as breast cancer can metastasize to the bone.
I have always been a proponent of early detection… but this time I really did not want to know or face the fact that my cancer could be back. I also really did not want to spend the $1400.00 on the scan, but my daughter and a close friend urged me to:

 “just do it”.

The morning leading up to the scan, I was becoming more worried. I went to the imaging center and received the radioactive injection and then waited the 3 hours before I had the actual scan. I went to get some lunch at a place that I used to frequent in my past life, as I like to call it. I think that may have even made it harder to keep it together. Thank goodness for sunglasses!
I returned to the imaging center and the technician was a very nice man. I lay down on the machine and he wrapped me in warm blankets. He asked that I lay very still and the test started. In that instant I was taken back to the days following this picture, MRI’s and PET scans and a bone scan, talks of chemo and hair loss and a mastectomy and reconstruction and possible radiation. The tears started to gently roll from the sides of my eyes, down my temples and into my ears. Have you ever lain flat on your back and cried? It is a very weird feeling. A different sort of a wet Willy. At a certain point when you continue to cry it becomes hard to lay still AND still breathe. The tech came out to re-position me and offered me a tissue… he was so sweet he even wiped the tears from my eyes.

The test only took about 20 minutes and then the wait began. On Tuesday, I called the doctor to ask for the results but they did not have them. Today, the wait was over…

The nurse called… which is always a good sign in my book:

My first call was to Nina and then Dante so they would not have to worry any longer. 

What a relief, I will still have to see some other doctors to try and figure out what the cause of the pain is, but the best news is that it is not


Friday, July 11, 2014

I heArt Fridays.... for the love of Mold

I decided it was time to try and get back to my I heArt Friday posts. 
We all have it... 
well most of us anyway... 
things that we put in the refrigerator..
and forget about...
and then before you know it...

At least I got a heart post out of this cup of Naked Juice.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Twenty One

Twenty one years ago today this sweetheart came into the world. 

Duke, Nina & Rocky
She has been through some things in her life that many adults have not been through and she has come through it all. I am happy that she has her birth family in her life now too and that her heart is whole again. I am so proud of the woman that she has become. She is responsible and hard working. She has a contagious laugh, an ear-deafening “spider” scream and the singing voice of an angel.  She is a great older sister to her 4 younger siblings. She loves her animals and she is an amazing daughter to her 2 Moms and 3 Dads.

Mario, Nina and Rocky - (he is an old man of 18 years)

What an amazing 21 years we have had and I will forever be grateful to call her my daughter.

Love  you Nina.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

May the 4th be with Dante and Spidey too!

Today this guy turns 14. 

He has loved Spider-man since he found this costume when he was 2. For some reason many of the superhero movies seem to come out around his birthday and this year was no exception.
We invited a few of his friends and his Sister and I all went to see the The Amazing Spider-Man 2 on Friday.
Before the movie he even got to pose for a picture with his idol.

We enjoyed the movie and the Birthday boy felt it was the best Spider-man movie of all of them.

Tonight the 3 of us will dine at The Melting Pot for his family birthday dinner. He usually selects Benihana, but he is mixing it up a bit this year.

Happy 14th Birthday Dante and many more.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Eight Years...

 Eight years ago today I heard those words that no one wants to hear, yet alone a Mother with 2 young children. 

"You have cancer". 

When I think about that day and time in my life I can still tear up. Some one recently asked me what was the most difficult part of cancer. 

My answer:

Chemo and all of its side effects but more importantly the look of fear in my children's eyes.

I learned many lessons from cancer, which I have written of before. The past few months, I feel that I have moved away from those lessons. Work has required me to work close to 70 hour weeks since the new year. It is not what I want, but I am a single Mother who must put a roof over our heads and  food on the table. I have a child who has steep medical bills, my own medical bills and I am a worrier about finances. 

But as I say  "I will do what I have to do until I don't have to do it any more."

The same person that asked me what the most difficult part about cancer was also reminded me that I need to take care of myself to be here for my children. I see fear in my daughter's eyes again, I know she worries about me getting sick, especially when I am working so much.

If I had a conversation with Cancer I would say:

 "Don't come back" 

and I think Cancer would say:

"You are not heeding my lessons"

So I am taking back my weekends. Starting to eat better and get back to exercise and hopefully more than 6 hours of sleep a night. My goal is to get my hours down to a more manageable 45 to 50 and find time to paint and write regular blog posts again.

Sometimes we veer off our path and we need some reminders to get back on track.

An 8 year cancer anniversary certain helps to do just that.

If you have not had your mammogram, please call and schedule one today. Women of all ages need to complete monthly self exams. Take a moment and complete your self breast exam and call a friend and remind her to do the same. 
We must be our own advocates in health and in life.

Friday, February 14, 2014

I heArt Fridays...Its all about your point of view...

I was waiting at a stop light on my way to work one day this week and I saw this beauty of a heart. In reality it was just a hole in the pole, but my angle and view at the moment created a heart.

Luckily the light stayed red long enough for me to get this shot!

Have a great weekend and keeping looking for hearts!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

A Positive Reminder...

photo credit:  OC Register 9/2007

I had a visit with my internist today. My cholesterol has been inching a bit higher each year and in December my oncologist suggested that I see my regular internist to ascertain his recommendation regarding medication.  Luckily he did not feel that my situation warranted medication and that I am still relatively young (I love hearing that part).

But was more interesting than the whole cholesterol part, was his reaction to my cancer survivorship. I matter of factly stated that in April, I will reach my 8 year mark as a survivor and then I continued on with the next topic. 

He stopped and reiterated… 

“almost 8 years?” 

“That is wonderful… you were stage 2B and now you are 8 years out.” 

He was so happy and really wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the milestone.

He really got me to thinking and taking a moment to reflect. Most of the people that I have met in the recent years have no idea that I am a survivor. I really do not think of cancer everyday anymore either… I remember wondering if I would ever get to that point in my life again. I have some pretty intense bone pain most days, but other than that, cancer is not omnipresent in my mind.

Moving forward, I think I will take a few moments to stop and celebrate another day of survivorship. 

It really does bring a smile to my face.

Friday, January 31, 2014

I heArt Fridays...Sandy Heart...s

I found this impromptu heart while walking... 
where else, but my favorite Balboa Island. 
Now that I look at it again, I also see a bigger heart with the original heart making the bottom point. Do you see them both?

Friday, January 10, 2014

I heArt Fridays...Trunk of Love

I found this on my way to meet my friend Mardy on New Year's Eve in Laguna Beach.

I have been so busy that I missed my first I heArt Friday post in a long time and of 2014. At first I was disappointed in myself. How could I forget? The 3rd day of the new year and I missed it, albeit a self imposed deadline. BUT the day went on, the week went on and life goes on. 
Ultimately a good lesson for the new year. 


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