Tuesday, June 11, 2013

"Dam Wife" of 30 years minus 2

Today marks what would have been the 30th wedding anniversary for Lou and I. I have shared a great deal about my life, our marriage and our children on this blog. I have been told that many of my stories and my experiences in life have helped others, whether it is about breast cancer, raising children, adoption, divorce, art, seeing the world a little differently. We had a very co-dependent marriage and I am not really sure how our divorce would be classified. When you have children between you, you still have to continue to have contact with the other person. Time has eased some issues as long as we do not discuss a few things.
Recently Lou started sending me photos of license plates that he found, a new interest for him he has told me. The first was:

We have very close friends whose boys are named Nathan and Nick so he wanted me to forward this to them.

Then there was this one:
He told me this must be one of my creative friends driving around.

Next up is:

I thought this one is interesting as we both were originally from outside of Buffalo, NY and grew up with the Bills and it is always nice to see Buffalo Bills fans in Cali.

On our Son’s birthday he sent me this one indicating that he meant no offense… he just thought it was funny:

I laughed and my response was that perhaps they did not have enough room to write best “damn wife” or “damn” good “wife”… I did not get a response to that comment.

I have been on the lookout for a response license plate that I thought was appropriate and I finally found one, but let me explain before the reveal.

I have an order for child and spousal support. I have had one since September 2011, yet I have not received any voluntary payments. Child Support Services has been trying the best they can to locate resources. For those not familiar with the system, they run his social security number every night but for some reason no money or accounts show up under his social. Recently both CSS and Lou told me that I should start to receive some money. It will be about 30% of what is stipulated per month, but I still have not received it. It would be so nice to start receiving some funds. It has been a difficult two years and hard to explain to our children. Nina was 18 so legally support was not mandated for her. We have learned some hard lessons. I add up the numbers and sometimes they just don’t add up, but by the grace of God I found a job in August 2011, I have been able to pay for our rent and food on our table and the necessities. Nina has had to grow up very quickly and pay for her own college, car insurance, phone and singing lessons as I re-build my career or until I start receiving support.

The hardest part has been to not receive or locate funds yet see their Dad and the man that I spent over over 2/3 of my life with, driving a new 2013 Audi A5, moving into a million dollar rental with his fiancée, Gretchen Solorio in December 2012, hiring a maid and I am sure other staff as the home is quite large, 3400 square feet and planning a lavish wedding for September 14, 2013.

People usually ask me three questions when it comes to the support arrears:

 1.  Is this how he was raised?
  •      I really don’t think so, but I was not raised in the same home.

     2.   Do you think you will ever receive the support arrears?
  •         I obviously cannot count on it and I continue to work hard, budget well and pray. But I do imagine what it would be like to receive the $90,000 of arrears. It would be like winning the lottery… in fact I refer to it as the Lou-ttery.

3.  Do you think Gretchen is aware that he is not paying child and spousal         support and of how much he owes everyone?
  •         He tells me she is aware of everything, but I do not know as I have not been allowed to meet her. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt… I know there was so much that I was not told and that I was not aware of. Heck, I find out more almost every day.

He told me today:

“More money? Wish “us” well then. It’s the only option there is.” So I wish Gretchen and Lou well, I just wish he would support his first family first and read the license plate:

1 comment:

DAMiller said...

I own the "DAM WIFE" Plate. If you include the plate frame it reads; "Because she is the best "dam wife" THAT'S WHY


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