This past week I was looking through old photos on my
computer and I came across this one from May of 2006.
This was taken 14 days
after I was diagnosed with stage 2B breast cancer, 8 days after Dante’s 6th
birthday. It was taken in his kindergarten class at the Mother’s Day
celebration. Don’t you love my big tissue paper corsage? I look at this photo
now and it makes me both happy and sad. He was a small innocent boy; look at those
eyes and that sweet smile. Neither one
of us knew what was in store. I was trying to put on my brave face, after all Moms
are supposed to make it all better. I know that I was thinking “I am going to
enjoy every moment as I don’t know how many more Mother’s Day celebrations that
I will get to share with him.” Less than a month later my long hair was gone, a
daily reminder of cancer and chemo and a fight to survive. This small innocent boy had to face the
reality of cancer, his Mom could die. No six year old should have to go through
that.
We made it through cancer, and chemo and surgeries and
healing, not without physical and emotional scars. I feel badly that he now has to go through a
divorce. He has been through so much. Am I a perfect Mom? No. Have I made
mistakes? Yes. Do I love my Son? Yes… I have loved him from the first day I
knew his Birth Mother had chosen me to be his Mom. So many children of our
Mother’s with Cancer have lost their Moms too early. It pains me that another
Mother, who has never even met me, could try to interfere with our
relationship. Yesterday, I was so angry yet so hurt at the same time that the
only thing I could think to do was to go to church and pray to the Blessed
Mother. Check back tomorrow to see what I found while I was there.
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