How do I sum up this past year? I can use almost every adjective that I can think of to explain this year. It was bad and good, it had its ups and downs… and more downs. It started with bad news at 9:30 am on January 1st, with a text telling me that there were some things going on in my life that I did not know the truth about. I can remember thinking and now I have 364 more days to go in this year? I had to make some very hard decisions in 2011. I had to find the courage ask the man that I have loved for 34 years for a divorce. I have had to come to grips with the fact that the life I thought I had was no longer. That being married and growing old together was not going to happen for us. I have learned and I am still learning about the legal side of divorce and custody, about “time-sharing” the kids. I had to move out of our home that I thought we would live in for many years… in 14 days. We had to find and move into a temporary place for a month and then move again. I feel like we have been packing and unpacking and moving stuff and moving it again for 5 months. All that happened while going back to work full-time in a new field of work. I have had to put my “art business” on hold temporarily. I have had to make a new life for our new family of 3. To try to keep some old traditions to provide security, yet start some new also. The first year of “firsts” is so hard.
There were many good things that happened this year also. My niece got married to the love of her life. My daughter graduated from high school and turned 18. I reached my 5 year anniversary of survivorship and lived to celebrate my 50th birthday. I found a job, in this economy. The company has now hired me as a full-time employee. We found a nice apartment in a safe neighborhood, close to a good school for my son. My daughter has a job and is going to school and she has been an amazing help to me and her little brother. We are all healthy. Let me say that one again… We are all healthy.
I am happy to say good bye to 2011. I am hoping for good health, peace and happiness for 2012. Many years ago, my brother-in-law gave me some advice. When you are on an airplane and the cabin pressure drops, you are instructed to put your mask on and then help your kids. I feel like that is what I have been doing the past 6 months. We have our masks on and hopefully can now breathe and stabilize in the New Year.
Lastly, I wish I could say that this year ended on a better note than it started but unfortunately I cannot. I received a call at about 5:30am this morning from my ex-husband letting me know that his youngest brother had passed away during the night. I have known Mike for over 40+ years. He was my Daughter’s Godfather. He made many people laugh. He loved the Buffalo Bills and the Buffalo Sabres. He loved California, (even though he did not live here), the sun, the beach and the Beach Boys. He referred to himself as “LA Mike”. He loved music especially Oasis and their song “Wonderwall”. He knew so much music trivia. He was infamous for bringing over a pizza late at night (especially when the kids were younger and we were trying to get them to bed) and I am sure that the Burger King and McDonald’s drive thru staff knew him by name. Rest in Peace LA Mike…