Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Joy Diet - Truth

The Joy Diet
Martha Beck


Create and Absorb at Least One Moment of Truth Each Day

This chapter was so important and teaching for me. I think I have almost the whole chapter underlined as so much of was written spoke so deeply to me. Truth and/or the lack of truth has played such a major part in my life. This week I really tried to focus on behaviors and the underlying truth in those behaviors. If I started to think about a painful situation and started my mind spin game, I tried to stop and get to the truth of my behavior, my feelings and the whole situation.

This was particularly useful in the following situation. A friend treated me poorly (in my opinion). I felt very hurt and sad. I kept replaying the event in my mind (which made me mad and anxious), but then I stopped. I told myself that I really needed to look for the truth in the situation, my feelings and my reaction to the whole event. This person has at least twice before done similar things. I have even told this person my feelings and told them that they could not treat me this way. Obviously it is still happening. I thought about my 5 year friend/relationship with this person. Perhaps my actions trigger emotions in her that make her treat me the way she does? The economy is adding more stress to people’s lives… maybe it is financial stress? I know she likes me and considers me a friend, but maybe this is just how she treats her friends?

When I thought with my heart I found this truth: I like this person, but I cannot change how this person treats me or others. I can only change my involvement with her and her organization. If I choose to spend time with this person then I must take the chance that she can and most likely will hurt me again. I have to remind myself that just because a feeling is familiar does not make it good, positive or healthy. The emotional truth does hurt but I think the continued wishing (denial) that I will be treated differently hurts more.

This week, when I found myself feeling/acting a certain way or obsessing about an event, I tried to stop and think of the underlying emotional truth. It really helped me to stay more present… stay in the now. and have a good week...

So here is my vision/reminder card for this week:


Nadya said...

That is such a powerful insight - that we can choose how we react to the behavior of others, & that we can decide how much time to spend with people/organizations that we feel out of alignment with!
A few weeks ago a friend asked for some energy work, & during the session voiced a similar boundary - that she can have empathy for others that drag her down, but she can limit how she interacts!!
Bravo! - & lovely card!

Lexington said...

Thank you so much for sharing your approach to truth. I love the way that you described choice and reaction.

Genie Sea said...

Oh! Your vision card is fabulous! :)

I went through a very similar experience about a year ago. With two different people in my life. I decided, the healthiest thing was to no longer associate with them. I have never looked back since, nor regretted the decision. I feel lighter. :) Hope that helps :)

Beverley Baird said...

What a powerful vision card!
You are so right about choosing how we react to others.

Jean said...

Stunning vision card! Just beautiful!

It is amazing what a moment, a thought can do - that you can only choose your own behavior and thoughts. It is so simple and yet so difficult to remember on a daily basis.

Thank you for your post!

Lisa said...

Beautiful post.... and a wonderful reflection on how we can choose to love despite the risk of a broken heart... I'd rather live in love than in fear!

Ginny said...

I too think it is important that we know that we can choose who we are friends with as well as how we react to the things those friends say or do. Each of us has the power to decide when we can overlook a behavior a friend exhibits or when to decide that friendship is no longer working for us. Sometimes it is hard to exercise that power but when looking at the friendship through the lense of "truth" it may become easier.

ellenoire said...

this is very powerful - I appreciate the way you looked for the underlying truth inside your emotional response to the other person.

Sharmila said...

I enjoy your posts and artwork very much ;) warmly, Sharmila


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